


being practically perfect doesn't mean he isn't nervous (and his reflection doesn't make it easier)

by slashmania



Series: Practically Perfect [5]
Category: Inception (2010), Mary Poppins (1964)
Genre: ...so maybe I'll have a Mary Poppins/Inception themed dream?, Arthur's reflection is checking in via soup spoon, Arthur's reflection is such a little shit, But he's cute, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, pre-date anxiety, reflection peptalk, that's right I said soup spoon, what's wrong with me?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2019-11-21 06:37:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18138722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slashmania/pseuds/slashmania
Summary: "Stop that," Arthur said to his reflection. His reflection continued to make faces at him, undeterred by Arthur's tone of voice.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Since I'm having writers block on two different stories I thought I'd do something easy: Arthur's reflection is a smart ass!
> 
> This fic takes place sometime after Practically Perfect (where Arthur and Eames are in love and stuff but they haven't actually *dated* yet?). Enjoy!

Arthur was brushing his teeth and his reflection was being a little shit.

Arthur had learned a long time ago that it wasn't wise to argue with his reflection, but he just couldn't say nothing about it. So when he was finished rinsing, he wiped at the corner of his mouth and gave his reflection a serious look.

"Stop that," Arthur said to his reflection. His reflection continued to make faces at him, undeterred by Arthur's tone of voice.

His reflection was sticking his tongue out. Pulling a bug-eyed expression. Sporting a goofy smile wide enough to flash dimples. Then a comically quizzical raised eyebrow.

"I asked you nicely," Arthur said as his reflection decided to switch which eyebrow to raise, then settling on doing a suggestive eyebrow waggle.

"I noticed that," his reflection answered, finally stopping long enough to have a conversation. "It's noted. But I'm demonstrating something for you, Arthur."

Arthur didn't want to wait for his reflection to say something else. It was obvious he was just doing it to be annoying. He _knew_ that Arthur was stressing! Why else would Arthur have stood in front of the damned mirror for so long trying to make his hair behave, then finally giving up on doing anything better than slicking it back so he could finally brush his teeth before he left.

"I'm demonstrating that even though I'm on the other side of the mirror I can still be much more engaging and fun than you are in the flesh."

Arthur left the bathroom and tried to ignore the reflection's words. Unfortunately Arthur had multiple reflective surfaces scattered through his place. His reflection followed him from surface to surface, continuing the conversation as Arthur pretended to tidy up.

"Don't get me wrong," the reflection said, watching Arthur pick up the shirt he'd tried on an hour before but changed his mind about. "You've got a lot going for you. It's just that you're kind of stiff, sort of frowny all the time. And even though this guy seems to like you a lot you also tend to create tons of opportunities to make stuff awkward." His reflection shrugged. "You're a real catch, otherwise!"

Arthur stopped pretending to rehang the shirt and turned around to face his reflection. He could tell his reflection that he was being condescending. But he didn't. He also didn't say _I_ _wouldn't look so awkward if I didn't have to keep checking to see where you've flitted off to!_

"Thanks so much for the compliment," Arthur answered dryly.

"Now don't be so moody! Is it really that surprising that I'm giving you grief as you prepare for a date?"

And considering that something like this had happened before a few of his past dates, it really shouldn't have surprised Arthur. Either way he felt entitled to his annoyance.

"It's like a ritual," his reflection was saying. "We've known each other for _forever_ , Arthur! I was only saying those things to try and get you to loosen up a little."

Arthur frowned at his reflection. "We clearly have different definitions of the phrase _loosen up_."

He noticed that his reflection was wearing an exact copy of the outfit Arthur had finally settled on. Arthur touched the tie he had on and noticed his reflection mimicking the action along with Arthur.

"What do you think of this tie?"

 Arthur's reflection looked at Arthur, presumably to examine the tie in question rather than looking down at the one it wore.

"It looks good," the reflection answered, nodding in agreement.

"It's not too dressy?"

The reflection smirked at him. "Aw, you're nervous about going to dinner with the same guy you commit dream crimes with. That's actually very sweet!"

Arthur glowered at the reflection. "Don't think I won't break the mirror..."

His reflection raised an eyebrow. "You would be willing to risk seven years bad luck after you've finally gotten what you want most?"

Hearing it put that way made Arthur reconsider breaking the mirror. He _did_ have everything he wanted. He wasn't working with Cobb anymore, he still wasn't a nanny, and he had Eames. Well, they had each other.

He must have started smiling at the thought because the next thing his reflection said was, "...and there's the dimples!"

"Shut up and let me finish getting ready."

Arthur's reflection waved his hand, dismissive. "You're ready. It's fine. You'll have a great time. We can talk about it later...unless you would like me to be your wingman?"

Arthur's glower returned and he shook his head. "I swear, if you show up during my date, I'll-"

"You're so easy to mess with," his reflection said. "Of course I'll stay away...just keep in mind what I said. Loosen up. Relax. Don't be afraid to smile or make a joke! There's nothing wrong with being a little silly."

"I'm supposed to be a big scary point man," Arthur said as he fixed his tie. "I don't do silly."

"But you're still a Poppins," the reflection reminded him, winking once before finally doing as Arthur asked.

His reflection finally shut up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh shit," Arthur said under his breath. He took the spoon out of his bowl of chicken noodle and tried to look like he wasn't examining his reflection in the concave surface of his spoon. His reflection was upside down and not at all pleased.
> 
> "I get that you think I'm annoying and pushy and I don't give you privacy when you want it, but I'm trying to do you a favor here!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just really frustrated right now. I didn't intend to do a second chapter for this story, but well, this fic is easier to write than the "Streetlights" fic I've tried and failed to write since Valentine's day. 
> 
> I humbly offer you the events of Arthur's date and how his reflection gives him another pep talk...from a spoon.
> 
> *I'm sorry for all the errors and the clunky writing, I should have gone to bed a couple of hours ago!*

They had just been served their soup when Eames's cellphone began to ring. The people at the table nearest to theirs had noticed the noise and muttered among themselves.

Looking extremely apologetic, Eames had reached out and touched Arthur's free hand, just a reassuring squeeze really, as he excused himself to take the call. Arthur had nodded and smiled for him, but shot a glare at the people who wouldn't quit muttering about  _annoying cellphones_ and  _why didn't he have it on vibrate_   _or silent._ Arthur's favorite mini-complaint from those people was about how their  _evening was ruined._

Arthur didn't see how their evening was ruined. Sure it would probably be annoying if Eames had an obnoxious ringtone or chose to take the call at the table, but really, the forger had been a perfect gentleman about it. He was perfect. Absolutely fucking _perfect_. Arthur would have said that to them his reflection hadn't chimed in.

"If they're pissing you off why don't you use a little of the old Poppins magic to set them straight?"

Arthur sat for an uncomfortable second trying to decide which reflective surface to glance at and confirm where he'd heard that familiar voice whisper from and then studiously ignore it. There was a stainless-steel coffee carafe on the nearest table, but his reflection's voice had sounded so much closer... He looked at his own table and noted that there wasn't a vase on the table. Arthur and Eames's empty glasses had been whisked away by a waiter who promised them refills of their beverages.

Since he wasn't sure where his reflection was at this moment, he tried to act normally to not draw any more attention to himself. He'd had a lot of practice trying to act normally so he wouldn't draw attention to himself- he'd done it while in school, the military, and even dreamshare where the term normal was kind of debatable. Yeah, once he'd become a point man he'd changed it up from being normal to being capable and being professional. And even though his damned reflection had _promised_ not to show up, Arthur was going to have to remain capable and professional and pretend that he couldn't hear his reflection.

"Oh, you're trying to spot me, aren't you? Just like our games of hide and seek when we were kids," his reflection said fondly and softly.

Arthur picked up his soup spoon from where it was resting on the cloth napkin. _I'm just a regular diner. Just a guy on a date. I'm eating soup, not talking to my whispering reflection._ Arthur decided to try the soup.

"Ah, I know I said I wasn't going to show up, but please don't-"

His reflection said something else but it sounded a little muffled.

The spoon was in the bowl of soup.

"Oh shit," Arthur said under his breath. He took the spoon out of his bowl of chicken noodle and tried to look like he wasn't examining his reflection in the concave surface of his spoon. His reflection was upside down and not at all pleased.

"I get that you think I'm annoying and pushy and I don't give you privacy when you want it, but I'm trying to do you a favor here!"

Arthur had picked up his napkin and was grateful that the reflection couldn't answer very well when Arthur was cleaning the soup off of the reflective surface. He almost hated that this restaurant clearly took the time to polish their silver!

"I told you that I didn't need you to-"

"I'm aware of that," his reflection answered. "I'm not a wingman. I was just checking in."

Arthur wished that this restaurant would turn up the music a little bit. It really wasn't crowded enough for him to have a conversation with his reflection via a _soup spoon_.

"I'm fine."

"Yes, I can tell from the way you were toying with the idea of telling off those people who complained about the cellphone ringing."

"I've never liked rude people. Poppins magic would serve them right."

"What would grandmother do?" the point man and his reflection said at the same time.

Arthur usually went with something along the lines of 'do something that defies a reasonable explanation, and then _not_ give anyone any kind of explanation, period.'

And that was when Eames came back to the table.

"Sorry about that, darling!"

Arthur dropped his spoon on the table and clenched his fist around the cloth napkin that was a little damp from the broth.

"There's nothing to apologize for," Arthur replied, trying very hard not to look down at his spoon. He'd unintentionally flipped the spoon over so that its shallow bowl was no longer facing up. The only difference it made was that Arthur's reflection wasn't upside down anymore. Arthur glanced down and noticed how his reflection was giving him a thumbs up.

Arthur put one hand over the spoon, attempting to be casual about it.

Eames noticed anyway.

"Something wrong with the spoon?"

Arthur thought about it briefly. He just wanted to have a nice date and not talk about anything that referred to anything potentially embarrassing or weird like sentient reflections checking up on him.

So Arthur skipped the part about his reflection sticking around to chat.

"Not really. I've been sitting here thinking of ways to get the people at the next table to stop giving us dirty looks."

Eames raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, interested.

"Are you going to make cutlery dance over to their table?"

Arthur removed his hand from the spoon and caught his reflection grinning at him. From his angle Eames couldn't spot it, so Arthur didn't have to explain anything.

"It's a little crowded for some of my favorites," Arthur said, thinking about the tricks he knew for getting non-sentient objects to do the work of tidying up a room. He thought that it would have been funny to will the nearby table to go for a little walk, or for the tablecloth to slip itself off the table with a flourish and leave the plates and glasses undisturbed. "How about we enjoy the rest of the meal and ignore them?"

"I'd like that," Eames answered. 


End file.
